Thoughts on Gay Marriage from a Straight Woman | Veracity Stew

Opponents of same-sex marriage are dropping like flies. Maybe it was the President coming out for marriage equality, or maybe it is just an idea whose time has come, but more and more Americans are moving toward approval of the idea of same-sex marriage.

As a ?straight? person, that both heartens and bothers me.

One of the chief advocates of California?s historic Proposition 8 has publicly and officially changed his position on same-sex marriage and now believes that gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry as a matter of ?basic?fairness.? David Blankenhorn, who founded an organization called the?Institute for American Values, and a witness in 2010 on behalf of Protect Marriage, Prop. 8?s sponsoring group, wrote in a New York Times opinion piece:

?For me, the most important (thing) is the equal dignity of homosexual love. I don?t believe that opposite-sex and same-sex relationships are the same, but I do believe, with growing numbers of Americans, that the time for denigrating or stigmatizing same-sex relationships is over. Whatever one?s definition of marriage, legally recognizing gay and lesbian couples and their children is a victory for basic fairness.?

Blankenhorn?s change of position comes on the heels of ?a CNN/ORC poll released earlier this month which shows that 54 percent of Americans believe that marriages between gay and lesbian couples should be recognized as valid by law. The results of the survey were released the day after a federal appeals court in San Francisco refused to review the same same-sex marriage ruling Blankenhorn opposed and testified in support of previously. Proposition 8, was ruled unconstitutional by the courts, but a stay is in place until appeals are exhausted.

I?m heartened because it seems in a short time and with each new poll more Americans are ready to support the legality of gay marriage. I?m bothered because no person?s rights ? gay or straight ? should be the subject of anybody else?s approval or disapproval. By its very nature this overall debate, the various votes and the numerous polls give the majority the power and authority to determine what is ?normal.?

On the one hand, I understand the joy that accompanied President Obama?s and the NAACP?s endorsements of same-sex marriage as a civil right. On the other, I?m offended that in the 21^st Century we feel we need anyone?s permission to accept a normal relationship as a normal relationship. A big part of me says if we just saw LGBT people as, say, people, we wouldn?t need to have this conversation. People marry other people, or not. It should be their choice. Why should one set of people get to determine that one person is more or less worthy than another?

I?m grateful for movement in the right direction but one of the things that has always bothered me about the same-sex marriage debate is that it perpetuates a sense of ?otherness? that lets us believe that it is okay to discriminate against gay people. A second thing that bothers me is any notion that the fight for marriage equality is an LGBT fight. It is not. Any time anyone with power attempts to exclude a portion of society based on pure prejudice it is an attack on us all and we must all join the fight against them.

There are ways we can recognize that we are different but still entitled to be treated equally. We may be seeing positive signs that we?re headed in that direction but we?re not there yet. Start by not waiting for permission to do the right thing.

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